Vonage

So, Paul and I are going to save $25-30 per month on our phone bill. (Actually, that's just enough to get cable in time for the BYU football season -- yes!! :) We had a pretty basic plan -- local service with minimal long distance. However, that "basic" service ended up costing us between $55 and $60 per month. Enter Vonage. We have signed up to use Vonage as our phone service, and with taxes and fees it will be $30 per month. Awesome!!!

So during our initial use of Vonage's service they are providing a free trial of their service where they'll transcribe voicemail and e-mail it to you. We don't plan to continue after the trial since they charge a quarter per voicemail. (Besides, for free they'll e-mail you the actual audio of the voicemail.) Why have them transcribe? So you can get a good laugh.

The first message they transcribed was from my buddy Hilary. She had a bunch of errands to run right before going out of town and called to tell me the morning was going extremely well. Her transcribed voicemail said, "Hey. It's Hillary. I was just calling to tell you about my smooth morning. My pitsy gazillain errand. And everything's just going in place just where I need to." Okay, anyone else wonder what a pitsy gazillain errand is?

I thought of every possible thing I thought she may have said and couldn't figure it out, so I e-mailed and asked her what a pitsy gazillain is. This was her response:

"Pitsy Gazillain is the pole iteuay of saying watt I thaw tough their rand. Bith away, doughnut say that phrase in your rope. :) Geoduck with yore lass weak of wok. I'm exited for ewe two fart the gnu job. (Dis iz watt happy swen Vonage get spaki stanis two tran scrieb yore voy snail!)Hillary"

I'll translate: "Pitsy Gazillain is the polite way of saying what I thought of the errand. By the way, do not say that phrase in Europe. :) Good luck with your last week of work. I'm excited for you to start the new job. (This is what happens when Vonage gets Pakistanis to transcribe your voicemail!) Hilary"

I love how she even misspelled her own name in the translation. Perfect! She says that Lee helped her with the response, and Paul and I found it hilarious. Hey, Hil, that WOULD Have been worth a quarter. :)

By the way, I listened to the original voicemail and she said "fifty gazillion errands." I don't blame the poor transcribing machine (since I'm guessing it's a machine and not Pakistanis) -- yesterday at church I really thought I heard someone swear over the pulpit. I could tell from the missionaries' reaction that they heard the same thing I did. I asked someone after church what the lady ACTUALLY said, and then I clarified it for the Elders, too. I was too far in the back to see who else had shocked looks on their faces so I could clarify it for them, too. For all I know that poor sister has an appointment with the bishop about appropriate Sacrament Meeting language ... and she can't even blame it on Vonage. :)