Questions only a mom would ask

You know you've watched too many children's programs when you start to ask yourself the following:

- Why aren't the other Wiggles as good as Greg? Does Anthony really think he looks cool with those sideburns? And what does Jeff contribute, anyway? (I watched the credits and found out the answer to the last one -- Jeff writes many of the songs.)

- Where is Dora's mom, anyway? Is she fine with her little girl (I think Dora's five or six) wandering through forests and talking to wild animals?

- How come the eyes on Thomas the Tank Engine move, but the lips don't? And if you've ever seen the full-length move of Thomas, how did Alec Baldwin get into a movie with such horrible actors? Does he realize they look even worse because he is a good actor and they aren't?

- How does the Bear in the Big Blue house move so much? There's got to be a person inside him, but his eyebrows move, too.

- Why did Steve REALLY leave Blue's Clues? And how do Salt and Pepper make Paprika?

- Why is Clifford Puppy Days worse than the regular Clifford? And can't you still make more Cliffords even though John Ritter died? Don't they know the kids would't mind a slight voice change -- assuming they even notice?

- Speaking of Clifford, what parents are going to build a house for their dog that happens to be larger than their own house? And why does Emily Elizabeth have to go by both names?

- Is Bob the Builder the only handyman in town? And where in the world did his cat get the name Pilchard?

- How is it possible that the Backyardigans all have the same imaginary boat/island/horse/etc. And how come they never argue about what this imaginary world should look like or have?

- Don't the parents of the Cyberchase kids wonder where their kids have been for hours? Ditto for Dragon Tales. And speaking of Dragon Tales, what parent is going to let their kids keep some strange thing that was left by the previous owners? And who has wallpaper with dinosaurs on it anymore, anyway?

- Does anyone in this big, big world really watch Big, Big World?

- Does anyone else find Caillou's voice very whiney? And isn't his mom a little too patient? (Although she is built like a "real" mom, so I'll forgive her on that one. :)

- Did the Berenstain Bears have to stop with two kids since they named them Brother and Sister? And why does everyone else in the town have normal names when this family doesn't?

- Does anyone else find the albino on Between the Lions a little creepy?

- Why can't any of the other kids' shows be as good as Arthur?

By the way, never ask your husband one of these questions or he'll look at you with a really weird look on his face. :)