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Friday, June 5, 2009

We're going there someday ...

Great news: We have a court date for Monday for our adoption of Becca. This has been an interesting experience I never thought I'd go through ...

A couple of months ago Paul and I started to feel like we needed to adopt Becca. We're not sure exactly why we're feeling it now since she's lived with us since she was 10 (and is now 15). We had originally been going down the path to get approval to have her sealed to us without legal custody, but then we just knew that adoption was what we needed to do.

So, we found an attorney to find out what process we need to follow. We talked to several, and I just don't like attorneys! What other service do you have to pre-pay a big chunk and then HOPE you get the service you want ... We found a good guy, but he's not been very communicative. That's been annoying to me, because I know anytime I call him he bills us (as would any attorney), and he's $150/hour! Anyway, I digress ...

We talked to Becca's mom and dad and were surprised by their responses. Her mom, who is still in contact with her, said she would support the adoption since it is what Becca wants, which was a surprise to us. Her dad, however, surprised us by saying no. He has to pay child support, but hasn't seen Becca since she was probably 2, so we figured he'd be happy to be done with his payments several years early. (It will end up saving him nearly $18,000!) He was tricky to track down, because he doesn't want Becca's mom or sister finding him. Even when we got a message to his mom to call us, he blocked his number when he called so we couldn't call him back. In any case, he basically said that Becca is his and he isn't willing to give her up. Huh? Then why haven't you done a thing to try to see her? People are strange -- I think it was more that he didn't want the Browns to "win."

He wanted to talk to Becca, but I informed him that he was not allowed to by law. He said that wasn't true. I said I had a copy of the paperwork that prohibits him from having any contact with her until he meets certain obligations (which he has had more than 10 years to complete), and that he hadn't met any of the obligations. He then went on to tell me that it applied only to Becca's sister, which is not true. Too bad I can read.

Fortunately he called back later (still blocking his number) saying that although he wanted a relationship with Becca (which I still find funny since he wouldn't even give us his phone number), but that his family (aka wife) didn't want to have to pay child support anymore, so he'd support the adoption. I told him good thing, because we were adopting her whether or not he supported it!

Anyway, he said he would give his consent on three conditions: 1. That child support would cease. (Duh!); 2. That he would be forgiven all back-due child support; and 3. That he could explain to Becca himself why he was allowing the adoption to proceed.

I told him Becca didn't want to talk to him, but that he could call and we would let him explain to her on speaker phone his reasoning. We set a date and time, and then he never called. So much for stepping in to have any kind of relationship ...

Anyway, we (meaning the attorney) drafted up the paperwork and sent it to both parents. Becca's mom didn't like the wording of the paperwork, but she agreed to sign it anyway -- but only after insulting me and telling me that I don't truly have Becca's best interest at heart and that I can't be believed. Sigh. Becca's dad was served the paperwork, but rather than sign it and return it he opted to let the 30 days expire, which means he forfeits his rights to have any say.

In any case, I called the attorney this week since I knew the time had expired, and he set a court date for Monday! We are so excited at the possibility of having her legally ours. We're praying the judge finds everything in order, because we can't wait to go here:



I had heard conflicting reports about how long you have to wait to have an adopted child sealed to you, and I have since found out that it can happen the second it's legal. We could leave the courthouse and head straight for the temple to make Becca ours forever if we had arranged it with the bishop. We are so happy to have her with our family eternally, and we are so happy to have the opportunity to take all of our children inside the temple for the ceremony. What a huge blessing!

In any case, we'll let you know when it's official ...

5 comments:

Rob and Reb said...

Yay, yay, yay!! This is so exciting! Becca is such a sweet girl and we are so happy for you guys.

Lean Bean said...

What a long and drawn out process! I'm glad that you guys could help Becca have a happy & safe life. I hope all the court stuff goes the way you want it to. Good Luck!

Theresa C said...

I am so excited for your family! It broke my heart to read about her "parents", but Becca is such a lucky girl to have a family who loves her so much! I hope the rest of the adoption process goes smoothly so Becca can be yours... eternally! :)

Jamie said...

Hey you guys!!
Wow!! You have A LOT going on!! What a blessing though that you finally have a court date for the adoption!! I hope it all goes well. I'm So Very Happy for you guys!! :) Your in my thoughts and prayers. I Love You Guys!! :)
~Jamie~

the Rowleys said...

exciting. :) You know we are praying it all goes smoothly. What a wonderful thing! Wish we could be there for the sealing.