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Thursday, January 22, 2009

I'll take it

Yes, as I mentioned, I feel like we are drowning in clutter. However, upon further reflection, I'll take it! We've had several difficult and depressing scenarios played out recently among family and friends, so I've decided I'll stick with my clutter problem and not worry too much about it. Mind you, I'm still trying to get rid of some clutter, but if that's my main focus at points throughout the day, I'll be happy that's all it is.

Now I have a question for those of you with older kids, especially older girls. Do you just let her walk out of the house looking like a fool? Okay, "fool" might be exaggerating. But what about styles (sometimes self-invented) you just don't think look good? And I'm not talking about bad trends. I have seen lots of looks on my 14-year-old I just don't like (the bun nearly killed me when it got as big as her head), but I kept quiet. My sister says to just let her go no matter what. Do you all agree? These are definitely things that don't really matter that much, but I also don't want other kids her age laughing at her behind her back. I don't have any reason to think that they are, except that I laugh sometimes after she leaves. Am I horrible?!? She's the only girl I've seen wearing THREE layers of shirts EVERY day ... and usually at least one of the layers matches nothing else she's wearing. (I'm horrible -- I get a kick every time she straightens them again and again to make sure you can see all of the layers.) Again, one of those dumb things that I'll be happy to "worry" about ...

6 comments:

Theresa C said...

I pick and choose my battles with my 14 year old. I know that I have to let her express herself a little, but if she looks absolutely ridiculous I step in!

Leslie said...

Im not one to give fashion advice. So no. But Jentry hasnt done any weird thing yet. Our fights are over holes in pants.

Stacey said...

My oldest sometimes just doesn't care and doesn't match. I haven't figured out if she really doesn't care of if she is trying to set a trend. Any how if it seems like it something that other's are doing (like the layered shirts) and it isn't hurting anyone I wouldn't say anything. If you think she is going to be the laughing stock of the neighborhood then I would intervine. Don't attack her...just ask a few questions in a caring voice to get some information. If she says yeah I came up with this on my own then maybe you give encouragement that it probably isn't the most flattering thing she could do for herself. However, as long as she is modest in her ridiculous outfits and crazy hair she will quickly learn if she fits in or not...her peers will let her know and then you don't have to be the outdated Mother who knows nothing! LOL I think if she knows you are just concerened for her and not that you are trying to control what she wears that makes a big difference as well. I say this all now but, in a few years I might need to help dealing with teenagers myself! It so hard to be the MOM sometimes! LOL

Dashley said...

I know what you mean about clutter! I can also relate with the whole being grateful for your own trials. We have some friends going through major money issues and others going through deaths, etc. Yep, I will take my own trials thank you. About Becca, are you sure she isn't getting some of her styles from other kids? I am totally weirded out by the styles today. This might be why I feel I have no fashion sense. :)

Hilary said...

I say let her wear what she wants. If it looks bad enough then her peers can give her the hard time. That's my opinion (but it might not be worth much because I am SO tired...)

Jana said...

I know sometimes being unique and finding the hat that fits on your own is more important at that age than looking like you should fit in somewhere. She could be trying to find herself among the bunch of look alikes out there. What is so unique about Becca and how to express it? I agree that it may have to be friends that give her that fashion advice. What she is wearing or dressing up like (as long as it goes with church standards and doesn't scare little children), can be just a statement of the unique Becca.

I remember when I was about 16. I got a hot pink hat. I wore that hat almost every day and it made me feel unique and independent. For some reason I could stand a little taller in that pink hat, and felt more "just me". Looking back that pink hat was quite shocking, and probably looked rediculous at times, but the important thing was what it did for my self esteem and my sense of self that mattered, not what it looked like at all. I'm glad my parents didn't stop me from wearing it. It would have made me feel less independent, which is what 14 is all about.