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Friday, May 2, 2008

"Chatty" Women

So, I'm guessing you've heard about the supposed study that says women say something like three times as many words per day as men? I've heard about it for years. However, it was just recently that I figured it out: They must have polled stay-at-home women and go-to-work men.

I figure that 85% (or more) of our words go something like this:

"Yes, I'll get you crackers and juice. Just a minute."

"I WILL get the juice after I get the crackers. Please be patient."

"I can't get the crackers and juice at the same time."

"I know you're thirsty now that you're eating the crackers. That's why I'm getting you juice!"

"It's time to go, so put your shoes on please."

"Please put your shoes on."

"Put your shoes on, please!"


"Run and go potty."

"Yes, you do need to go."

"Just try to go!"

"Did you flush and wash hands?"

"Then go flush and wash hands."

"I didn't hear a flush. Go flush!"

"Now wash your hands."

"You have to wash them again after you flush!"

"No, you can't have a sucker until after lunch."

"Because then you won't want to eat lunch if you eat the sucker."

"NO! You can either eat it after lunch or not at all."

"No, it's not time for lunch yet. It's 9 a.m. We don't eat until 11:30. That's two and a half hours from now. Would you like a snack?"

"No, you can't have the sucker as a snack!"

"You can eat the sucker after lunch."

"Because you won't want to eat lunch if ..."

Ever see one of those circle stories? Don't many conversations with your kids FEEL like circle conversations?!?

In any case, I'm glad I figured out the mystery of why women "talk" so much. I guess I figured this out just in time for Mother's Day.

And on that note, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to my mom, Paul's mom and all my mom buddies!!!


Melissa said...

This is so hilarious I was almost in tears from laughing! Thanks for writing this! Love, M

Hilary said...

Man, Denise, you really nailed this one! I think you should seriously consider turning this into an article to submit to a parenting magazine! If you're going to be such a creative writer, you might as well get paid for it!