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Friday, February 22, 2008

Go to bed angry!

While I'm on the topic of annoying things (see gas prices below), I should mention some advice that really drives me nuts: "Never go to bed angry." Did anyone hear this at their wedding? We are extremely opposed to this advice and really hoped the person who sealed/married us wouldn't say it to us. (We figured it wouldn't be a great idea to get annoyed with the person marrying you eternally to the one you love in the holiest place on earth.)

It really is horrible advice! Any of you who have gone to bed angry realize how much better you feel in the morning. All of a sudden when you're not so tired, things don't seem nearly as bad. And you don't say things you don't mean. And you actually got some sleep instead of staying up all night trying to not get so mad and say things you don't mean.

I'll be the first to admit going to bed angry is difficult. However, every time we've had a disagreement and agreed to discuss it later, it has benefited our marriage. That way we both have some time to think about things, we have a specific time to discuss it (instead of me "springing" something on Paul, which I'm great at doing), and we cool down in the meantime so we can discuss it rationally instead of emotionally.

We were very blessed with a temple sealer who didn't give us that advice. In fact, he talked about someone who mentioned the blessing of their good health -- because he went on a walk every time they got angry at his wife. Now that's good advice! We really were relieved that he didn't give us the bad advice that we'd heard others receive at their wedding ceremonies.

A couple of weeks ago during a snowstorm I saw a woman in my ward out walking. I pulled over and said, "Please tell me you're not so good at exercising that you're out here doing it now!" She said, "No. I'm saving my kids' lives." I didn't understand, so she clarified that she had to leave the house so she wouldn't kill them. I guess she gets it. And she's now taught me that walking (or going to sleep angry) is good for saving more than marriages -- it's good for saving kids, too! :)


Laura said...

Amen! I'm of course not married but I couldn't agree with you more. It is never a good idea for me to "solve" fights while i'm still all heated up. I promise to never give that poor advice when I preside at a wedding!

By the way, thank you for the motivation. I have officially updated on the assignment due to your gentle nudging! :)

Dashley said...

Denise you have a great point! I think you are right in most cases, but I am a bit quirky. I can't handle life if I go to bed angry. I would stay up all night fretting and I know Derek would too. My next day is set up on the wrong foot too when I wake up with something unresolved. Crazy, eh?
I do agree with you %100 percent about what is the best kind of ice cream though. There really is no exception: Dryers Samoa:)